Friday, October 9, 2009
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Joe Smith and His Golden Bible
Sunday afternoon was the first time that I had ever attended in person a General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Among the many things I wish to say about the experience, I will mention two.
The first is that I was genuinely perturbed by the protesters on the street corner right outside the conference center. I normally fair well against maliciousness, but an inner-alarm rang during this encounter. One of the men was screaming hellfire and damnation upon the Mormons. When I say screaming, I mean the spit frothing from the mouth like Wulfgar the Barbarian. I felt an eerie energy, a literal force of destruction coming from the man. It resonated with an experience I had four years ago while I was in the secluded mountain town of Itatiaia, Rio de Janeiro.
In contrast to the sunny, colorful, eroding metro-paradise where the 2016 Olympics will be held, the town of Itatiaia lay on the foggy fringe of the Brazilian state. You could call it rural; cattle grazed in cold-crisp fields and certain streets were obscured by mountain pines. My missionary companion and I had previously visited a woman on a street that matched a gloomier description. On a particularly rainy day, we came back to visit her again as she had mentioned that she wouldn't mind it. From the front yard fence, we clapped our hands to get the residents' attention. We were eventually greeted by the woman's husband, a man in a wheelchair who had no legs.
In imperfect Portuguese, I asked about the Book of Mormon that we left for his wife to read, wondering if she had been touched by its message or if perhaps they wished to hear more. The man's face trembled and he began speaking in English, a language which at the time I seldom heard. Screaming, he told me to leave and never return. He knew every cuss word and used them with proficiency. His visage can only be described as diabolic. I felt that creepy feeling that could not settle with me.
Years later, I got the same distinct sensation outside Temple Square from a berserk protester.
The second thing I want to say is that I was lucky enough to be an eye witness to Elder Jeffrey R. Holland's testimony of the Book of Mormon, the cornerstone to the LDS faith. I am not ignorant to what other religions say about the origins of the Book of Mormon. I know full well that even within the church, there are those who waver with the notion the Joseph successfully translated ancient records with God-condoned accuracy. It frustrates me that opponents of the book use logic to try and prove it wrong while through logic itself, we may unequivocally prove that it is exactly what it purports to be.
I want to relate much of his talk to you where Elder Holland uses logic to prove the critical wrong.
"May I refer to a modern last day's testimony. When Joseph Smith and his brother Hyrum started for Carthage to face what they knew would be an imminent martyrdom, Hyrum read these words of comfort to the heart of his brother.
"Thou hast been faithful, wherefore, thou shalt be made strong, even unto the sitting down in the place with which I have prepared in the mansions of my father. And now I Moroni bid farewell, until we shall meet before the judgment seat of Christ."
-A few short verses from the 12th chapter of Ether in the Book of Mormon.
...
Later, when actually incarcerated in the jail, Joseph the Prophet turned to the guards who held him captive and bore a powerful testimony of the divine authenticity of the Book of Mormon. Shortly thereafter, pistol and ball would take the lives of these two testators.
As one of a thousand elements of my own testimony of the divinity of the Book of Mormon, I submit this as yet one more evidence of its truthfulness. In this their greatest and last hour of need, I ask you: Would these men blaspheme before God by continuing to fix their lives, their honor, and their own search for eternal salvation on a book? And by implication, on a church, on a ministry they had fictitiously created out of whole cloth?
Never mind that their wives are about to be widows and their children fatherless. Never mind that their little band of followers will yet be houseless, homeless, and friendless, and that their children will leave footprints of blood across frozen rivers and an untamed prairie floor. Never mind that legions will die, and other legions live, declaring in the four corners of this earth that they know the Book of Mormon and the church that espouses it to be true. Disregard all of that, and tell me whether in this hour of death, these two men would enter the presence of their eternal judge quoting from and finding solace in a book, which if not the very word of God, would brand them as impostors and charlatans until the end of time.
They would not do that. They were willing to die rather than deny the divine origin and eternal truthfulness of the Book of Mormon. For one hundred and seventy-nine years this book has been examined and attacked, denied and deconstructed, targeted and torn apart, like perhaps no other book in modern religious history--perhaps like no other book in any religious history--and still it stands. Failed theories about its origins have been born, parroted, and died. From Ethan Smith to Solomon Spalding, to deranged paranoid, to cunning genius. None of these frankly pathetic answers for this book has ever withstood examination, because their is no other answer than the one Joseph gave as its young, unlearned translator.
In this I stand with my own great grandfather who said, simply enough, "No wicked man could write such a book as this, and no good man would write it, unless it were true and he were commanded of God to do so."
I testify that one cannot come to full faith in this latter-day work, and thereby find the fullest measure of peace and comfort in these, our times, until he or she embraces the divinity of the Book of Mormon and the Lord Jesus Christ of whom it testifies. If anyone is foolish enough or misled enough to reject 531 pages of a heretofore unknown text teeming with literary and semitic complexity, without honestly attempting to account for the origin of those pages somehow, especially without accounting for their powerful witness of Jesus Christ and the profound spiritual impact that witness has had on what is now tens of millions of readers, if that's the case, then such persons, elect or otherwise, have been deceived. And if they leave this church, they must do so by crawling over or under or around the Book of Mormon to make their exit. In that sense, the book is what Christ himself was said to be: a stone of stumbling and rock of offense--a barrier in the path of one who wishes not to believe in this work.
...
I ask that my testimony of the Book of Mormon and all that it implies, given today under my oath and my office, be recorded by men on earth and angels in heaven. I hope I have a few years left in my last days, but whether I do or do not, I want it absolutely clear, when I stand before the judgment bar of God that I declared to the world in the most straightforward language I could summon, that the Book of Mormon is true, that it came forth the way Joseph said it came forth, and was given to bring happiness and hope to the faithful in the travail of the last days.
...
Remember this declaration by Jesus himself: "Whoso treasureth up my word shall not be deceived and in the last days, neither your heart nor your faith will fail you." Of this I earnestly testify in the name of Jesus Christ, amen."
The first is that I was genuinely perturbed by the protesters on the street corner right outside the conference center. I normally fair well against maliciousness, but an inner-alarm rang during this encounter. One of the men was screaming hellfire and damnation upon the Mormons. When I say screaming, I mean the spit frothing from the mouth like Wulfgar the Barbarian. I felt an eerie energy, a literal force of destruction coming from the man. It resonated with an experience I had four years ago while I was in the secluded mountain town of Itatiaia, Rio de Janeiro.
In contrast to the sunny, colorful, eroding metro-paradise where the 2016 Olympics will be held, the town of Itatiaia lay on the foggy fringe of the Brazilian state. You could call it rural; cattle grazed in cold-crisp fields and certain streets were obscured by mountain pines. My missionary companion and I had previously visited a woman on a street that matched a gloomier description. On a particularly rainy day, we came back to visit her again as she had mentioned that she wouldn't mind it. From the front yard fence, we clapped our hands to get the residents' attention. We were eventually greeted by the woman's husband, a man in a wheelchair who had no legs.
In imperfect Portuguese, I asked about the Book of Mormon that we left for his wife to read, wondering if she had been touched by its message or if perhaps they wished to hear more. The man's face trembled and he began speaking in English, a language which at the time I seldom heard. Screaming, he told me to leave and never return. He knew every cuss word and used them with proficiency. His visage can only be described as diabolic. I felt that creepy feeling that could not settle with me.
Years later, I got the same distinct sensation outside Temple Square from a berserk protester.
The second thing I want to say is that I was lucky enough to be an eye witness to Elder Jeffrey R. Holland's testimony of the Book of Mormon, the cornerstone to the LDS faith. I am not ignorant to what other religions say about the origins of the Book of Mormon. I know full well that even within the church, there are those who waver with the notion the Joseph successfully translated ancient records with God-condoned accuracy. It frustrates me that opponents of the book use logic to try and prove it wrong while through logic itself, we may unequivocally prove that it is exactly what it purports to be.
I want to relate much of his talk to you where Elder Holland uses logic to prove the critical wrong.
"May I refer to a modern last day's testimony. When Joseph Smith and his brother Hyrum started for Carthage to face what they knew would be an imminent martyrdom, Hyrum read these words of comfort to the heart of his brother.
"Thou hast been faithful, wherefore, thou shalt be made strong, even unto the sitting down in the place with which I have prepared in the mansions of my father. And now I Moroni bid farewell, until we shall meet before the judgment seat of Christ."
-A few short verses from the 12th chapter of Ether in the Book of Mormon.
...
Later, when actually incarcerated in the jail, Joseph the Prophet turned to the guards who held him captive and bore a powerful testimony of the divine authenticity of the Book of Mormon. Shortly thereafter, pistol and ball would take the lives of these two testators.
As one of a thousand elements of my own testimony of the divinity of the Book of Mormon, I submit this as yet one more evidence of its truthfulness. In this their greatest and last hour of need, I ask you: Would these men blaspheme before God by continuing to fix their lives, their honor, and their own search for eternal salvation on a book? And by implication, on a church, on a ministry they had fictitiously created out of whole cloth?
Never mind that their wives are about to be widows and their children fatherless. Never mind that their little band of followers will yet be houseless, homeless, and friendless, and that their children will leave footprints of blood across frozen rivers and an untamed prairie floor. Never mind that legions will die, and other legions live, declaring in the four corners of this earth that they know the Book of Mormon and the church that espouses it to be true. Disregard all of that, and tell me whether in this hour of death, these two men would enter the presence of their eternal judge quoting from and finding solace in a book, which if not the very word of God, would brand them as impostors and charlatans until the end of time.
They would not do that. They were willing to die rather than deny the divine origin and eternal truthfulness of the Book of Mormon. For one hundred and seventy-nine years this book has been examined and attacked, denied and deconstructed, targeted and torn apart, like perhaps no other book in modern religious history--perhaps like no other book in any religious history--and still it stands. Failed theories about its origins have been born, parroted, and died. From Ethan Smith to Solomon Spalding, to deranged paranoid, to cunning genius. None of these frankly pathetic answers for this book has ever withstood examination, because their is no other answer than the one Joseph gave as its young, unlearned translator.
In this I stand with my own great grandfather who said, simply enough, "No wicked man could write such a book as this, and no good man would write it, unless it were true and he were commanded of God to do so."
I testify that one cannot come to full faith in this latter-day work, and thereby find the fullest measure of peace and comfort in these, our times, until he or she embraces the divinity of the Book of Mormon and the Lord Jesus Christ of whom it testifies. If anyone is foolish enough or misled enough to reject 531 pages of a heretofore unknown text teeming with literary and semitic complexity, without honestly attempting to account for the origin of those pages somehow, especially without accounting for their powerful witness of Jesus Christ and the profound spiritual impact that witness has had on what is now tens of millions of readers, if that's the case, then such persons, elect or otherwise, have been deceived. And if they leave this church, they must do so by crawling over or under or around the Book of Mormon to make their exit. In that sense, the book is what Christ himself was said to be: a stone of stumbling and rock of offense--a barrier in the path of one who wishes not to believe in this work.
...
I ask that my testimony of the Book of Mormon and all that it implies, given today under my oath and my office, be recorded by men on earth and angels in heaven. I hope I have a few years left in my last days, but whether I do or do not, I want it absolutely clear, when I stand before the judgment bar of God that I declared to the world in the most straightforward language I could summon, that the Book of Mormon is true, that it came forth the way Joseph said it came forth, and was given to bring happiness and hope to the faithful in the travail of the last days.
...
Remember this declaration by Jesus himself: "Whoso treasureth up my word shall not be deceived and in the last days, neither your heart nor your faith will fail you." Of this I earnestly testify in the name of Jesus Christ, amen."
Thursday, September 24, 2009
The Code of the Wolf T
When one wears this shirt, something magical happens. They are consumed by utter confidence. They are in control of destinies. Before I had this shirt, I was your normal average guy, some might even say less than average, like a Z-score of -1.06. Now I pull more chicks than Wilt Chamberlain. When people see you in this shirt they know your SERIOUS. They don't mess around.
'Twas a midnight when I first donned this bad boy. I was actually laying in a half daze in the open desert; the ceiling of stars sent me spinning until I was lost in cosmos, this also metaphorically serving as my spiral into the ethereal fetters of ineptness.
From behind a cactus grove a wolf suddenly approached me. I was about to give in to defeat to my carnivorous adversary when I suddenly noticed something in his mouth. He laid the majestic shirt before me. He bowed as I put it on. . .
I now know the Code of the Wolf, which I will now share with you. These are words of pride which you must now live by. Courage, my wolf-brothers and wolf-sisters. There is an affirmation for all of us. We all are confronted with fear. Don't dare let fear take you, for that is unbecoming of a wolf-child. These are the words you embrace when you wear the Wolf T.
FIGHT FOR SOMETHING
OR LIVE FOR NOTHING
SHE WANTS A MAN
SHE WANTS A MAN
YOU BE THAT MAN
BEAR YOUR SCARS ON YOUR CHEST
BEAR YOUR SCARS ON YOUR CHEST
NEVER ON YOUR BACK
YOU ARE A SYNONYM FOR AWESOME
YOU ARE A SYNONYM FOR AWESOME
GO AND PROVE IT
INACTION IS SLAVERY
FREEDOM IS A CHOICE
BEING #1
BEING #1
IS HOW YOU WARM UP
AFTER THE FINISH
AFTER THE FINISH
KEEP GOING
IF YOU NEVER GIVE UP
IF YOU NEVER GIVE UP
YOU NEVER LOSE
DOCTOR CALLED IT CANCER
DOCTOR CALLED IT CANCER
YOU CALLED IT A CHALLENGE
USE LARGE FONT
USE LARGE FONT
BECAUSE YOU'RE A WOLF-BROTHER
IF A TREE FALLS IN THE WOODS
IF A TREE FALLS IN THE WOODS
YOU HEAR IT
YOU ARE AN ARMY OF ONE
YOU ARE AN ARMY OF ONE
DECLARE WAR
TODAY'S HOROSCOPE:
TODAY'S HOROSCOPE:
AWESOME
PAIN IS GOOD
PAIN IS GOOD
SHARE IT WITH YOUR ENEMIES
FISTS
FISTS
NEVER RUN OUT OF AMMO
THE BEST WAY OUT
THE BEST WAY OUT
IS THROUGH
NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP
NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWN
BITE OFF MORE THAN YOU CAN CHEW
AND THEN CHEW IT
The code of the Wolf T.
As you have your own experiences with the Wolf T after having worn one, please feel free to comment about it so all of your Wolf-brothers and Wolf-sisters can benefit from Awesome.
The code of the Wolf T.
As you have your own experiences with the Wolf T after having worn one, please feel free to comment about it so all of your Wolf-brothers and Wolf-sisters can benefit from Awesome.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Bon Voyáge, Mr. Swayze
In homage to your greatness, I'm going to assemble what I think are the best youtube clips of your best movies. Some of them might make us laugh. Some of them might make us cry. All of them will bring a glow to the soul.
Patrick Swayze, the actor who danced his way into viewers’ hearts with “Dirty Dancing” died Monday after a battle with pancreatic cancer. He was--
--hey let go of my mic!!!!!
. . . ?
Monday, September 7, 2009
Get To Know Your Cougars!
The BYU Cougars, the 22-point underdogs. They proved to you and I that we shouldn't have such low expectations. I know one team (CAN YOU SAY "OKLAHOMA"?) that will be licking their wound for the rest of the season, and another team (COUGARS!!!) that will enjoy national spotlight and BCS bowl speculation. Some called it "shocking". Cheers could be heard throughout Provo like a third-world country during the World Cup. The team's 14-13 win over Oklahoma on Saturday at Cowboys Stadium is news to all those who expected them to lay low after last year's late season slow-down.
This is my homage to those individuals who deserve recognition. A Cougar is something more than just a member of a football team. Yes, this word means A LOT more than just a BYU mascot. They are people who I feel should take on more spotlight than they already do. For them, I have much admiration. They are icons. They are Cougars.
Max Hall
"We pulled it off, man, so this is going to be one of the greatest wins in BYU history, and I feel very privileged to be a part of the team and part of it."
A 6'1", 201 pound Mesa, AZ native that proves time and time again that he is the backbone of Bronco's army. You know him as number 15. I know him as Captain "Golden Arm".
Here he is showing off his quarterbackingness in an interview.
Harvey Unga
"Freight Train of Destruction" as he is known by some cultures, Unga's name can be heard being chanted at Edward's Stadium. Some teams have been so startled at the ominous roar of his name that they have gone insane. Unfortunately for this running back (and for Cougars everywhere), he has a hamstring injury. Who knows how long it will be before this thunderous mass erupts again?
Susanna Hoffs
Let me just say that Susanna Hoffs is held in high Uncle Jesse esteem. She stole the heart of the world with hits like "Eternal Cougar", "Walk Like An Cougar", and "Cougar Monday". In the 80's, she was the brunette beauty better known as the singer for the all-female pop group The Bangles. Twenty-five years later, she's best known as the super Cougar.
At 49, I never thought a feline could stay in such pristine condition.
Hot dang. . .
Sharon Stone
Born: March 10, 1958. Number of Movies: +50. Cougar level: 10,000!
I often reflect on the words of Ashton Kutcher, "she is twice my age, but that just means that there is twice more to love". I am reminded how true that is with the charismatic Stone. I accidentally watched Catwoman one time and she was in it. Needless to say, never watch Catwoman.
Teri Hatcher
Though she is now known for her lead in the hit ABC show "Desperate Housecougars", Hatcher had already won my heart long before. She played the Kryptonian's love interest in the 90's fiasco, "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman". I was hooked from episode one. She made me want to grow up and become a Superman. I haven't let her down.
Paula Abdul
Yes, she's insane. Yes, she's probably on cocaine. Yes, she's a full-fledged Cougar.
My thoughts would often gravitate towards the notion that she be axed from Idol because of her bat-&*%# craziness. When that day finally came, I was not happy as had originally thought. No. Melancholically, I realized that American Idol was now cougarless.
Oh Paula, we're gonna miss you.
Monday, August 3, 2009
The American Healthcare Condition
In case you know nothing about current events, President Obama and the Dems of Congress are moving to pass a reformed Health Care Plan bill. Essentially, you will see a lot more government involvement with health care. Now, I'm all for helping the needy, fixing America, and providing a public good, and I also condone government involvement in critical affairs. However, I think our Democrat allies may be losing a little of their subtlety--their agenda is starting to look more and more like the utter destruction of private insurance altogether. Now, I hate paying for things too, but there's a problem when the government pays for them instead of the working class. You diminish the little spark called "incentive".
This is where America's "horrible, broken, private insurance-based system" stands in comparison to the rest of the world.
1. Americans have better survival rates than Europeans for common cancers.
2. Americans have lower cancer mortality rates than Canadians.
3. Americans have better access to treatment for chronic diseases than patients in other developed countries.
4. Americans have better access to preventive cancer screening than Canadians.
5. Lower-income Americans are in better health than comparable Canadians.
6. Americans spend less time waiting for care than patients in Canada and the United Kingdom.
7. People in countries with more government control of health care are highly dissatisfied and believe reform is needed.
8. Americans are more satisfied with the care they receive than Canadians.
9. Americans have better access to important new technologies such as medical imaging than do patients in Canada or Britain.
10. Americans are responsible for the vast majority of all health care innovations.
(Read more here if you's a skeptic: http://www.hoover.org/publications/digest/49525427.html)
That top ten list is what you lose 20 years from now after Obama's Health Care Plan gets passed.
If you're just in love with the idea of economic reform, google "Kadykchan" and take a gander at what socialist living conditions are like.
This is where America's "horrible, broken, private insurance-based system" stands in comparison to the rest of the world.
1. Americans have better survival rates than Europeans for common cancers.
2. Americans have lower cancer mortality rates than Canadians.
3. Americans have better access to treatment for chronic diseases than patients in other developed countries.
4. Americans have better access to preventive cancer screening than Canadians.
5. Lower-income Americans are in better health than comparable Canadians.
6. Americans spend less time waiting for care than patients in Canada and the United Kingdom.
7. People in countries with more government control of health care are highly dissatisfied and believe reform is needed.
8. Americans are more satisfied with the care they receive than Canadians.
9. Americans have better access to important new technologies such as medical imaging than do patients in Canada or Britain.
10. Americans are responsible for the vast majority of all health care innovations.
(Read more here if you's a skeptic: http://www.hoover.org/publications/digest/49525427.html)
That top ten list is what you lose 20 years from now after Obama's Health Care Plan gets passed.
If you're just in love with the idea of economic reform, google "Kadykchan" and take a gander at what socialist living conditions are like.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
This is a song a band made a while ago called "For Justin"
It's been a year now
Since you were here now
And I've been tryin' to heal inside
Dedications have all been placed
And I see your resemblance in my face
And on our birthdays I'll set an extra wish for you
And I have learned so much since you've been gone
And I have done so little for so long
So now I'll settle up my grievances
And focus on the savory
And wave all these discrepancies away
And I'll beat around these misconceptions
Give out faith at my discretion
Live a life that you would think was sane
Since you were here now
And I've been tryin' to heal inside
Dedications have all been placed
And I see your resemblance in my face
And on our birthdays I'll set an extra wish for you
And I have learned so much since you've been gone
And I have done so little for so long
So now I'll settle up my grievances
And focus on the savory
And wave all these discrepancies away
And I'll beat around these misconceptions
Give out faith at my discretion
Live a life that you would think was sane
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