Dear Guy With Horrible Breath,
You sat next to me today in my poli sci class. As I sat watching the film starring Jeremy Irons, my personal area was suddenly filled with the most rancid, horrible stench that has crossed me in quite some time. This odor can only be described as a strong, death-laced permeation of discomfort. It most definitely came from your mouth.
To add to the already stanky breath cloud that was birthed by your mere respiration, you decided to worsen the situation by actually talking to me after class. Each word you spoke carried a gust of horror that punched my face like a weak midget. I understand that bad breath is a problem that can happen to anyone at any time. I realize that there are degrees it: morning breath, garlic breath, cheesy breath. I would classify your case as an extreme version of armpit breath.
Your extreme case of halitosis has made me paranoid that perhaps I might have had death-breath at one time. Your stinky breath stuck to my clothes and I could still smell it minutes later after I was already home.
If you have a disease that makes your mouth smell that way, that is fine. Blind people use white canes to let us know they're blind. Similarly, you should always chew gum.
Once again, it happens to the best of us. But seriously, wow.
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1 comments:
I quite enjoyed this post-- it made me laugh out loud! There are just some people out there who should maintain a 12 foot radius and switch out gum every hour, on the hour
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